We're boundary pushers, open-minded sunburnt lovers of fun. We love the odd and applaud the alternative. And we love doing things different and against the grain. As it turns out, our handboards aren't handboards at all; they're auxiliary weapons of anti-boredom.
Did your mind just get blown or what?
At a past Surf Expo, a rambling European gent wandered into the Slyde tent and emphatically recollected using handboard-like planes to ski down his hometown slopes. While his recount sounds as fun as it does daring, we don't recommend it -- mainly for liability reasons. But it did get us thinking of other ways to use a handboard besides bodysurfing.
Tightly grip your Slyde Handboard strap so that the back of your hand is against the deck. Don't you feel like a S.W.A.T. version of Keanu Reeves from The Matrix? But you're a much better actor. What more confidence do you need? Go get 'em, Tiger.
After your paintball war, feel free to jump in the waves for a quick bodysurfing session.
Pretty much anywhere you go, people suck at driving. Have a traffic light go down in a busy part of town, and anyone on the other side of that proverbial fan is going to get seriously covered in it. You can save the day -- and stick to Slyde's roots. See, the Slyde arrow comes from a famous street sign directing traffic to Jeffrey's Bay, South Africa. Like that sign, you can motion drivers to a better place (hopefully to the ocean for some therapeutic bodysurfing). Direct those reckless drivers! Handboard equipment has never been so helpful.
When high tide renders those churning barrels you've been bodysurfing into curdled mushburgers, gather your mates and hit the nearest beach-volleyball net for a game of High Tide Handboardball.
Each player dons his or her handplane of choice. Standard beach volleyball rules apply.
Oh, and if you're scared of what other beachgoers will think of you, just remember what famous painter Andy Warhol said: "You have to do stuff that average people don't understand because those are the only good things." High Tide Handboardball is a good thing.
Buy low, sell high. In the early 1990s, standard short board lengths were about six and a half feet. In 2011, Kelly Slater charged MASSIVE Todos Santos on a 5'8''.
Surfboard sizes are dropping like the stock market, but with 5'4''s being the new norm, it's still possible to turn a profit on your investments if you invest in a Slyde handboard.
At the rate things are going, the average surfboard size will be the size of a Slyde handboard by 2025. However, given the costs of goods and services, surfboard prices aren't likely to drop. In fact, they'll probably increase.
In forty years, surfboards and handboards may be virtually indistinguishable by size and shape, but your initial $160 Wedge investment is now worth nearly $950. Nothing like investing in the future, and this goes for surfing and bodysurfing alike.
Wedge your handboard against the end of your bookshelf to hold up your ... I mean ... ahem ...your girlfriend's ... ahem ... special edition Twilight series on that wobbly Ikea bookshelf, simultaneously showing off your intelligence and bodysurfing/handboarding shred-ability (which, of course, you call "shrederacy").
All this taken into consideration, there’s no better use for your Slyde Handboard than #gettingshacked and having fun.