1. Shoot your own dinner entrees.
2. Drink American beer while it's fresh.
3. Carry a sidearm into church.
4. Shave your pubes into the shape of an American Eagle.
5. Drive an appropriately sized truck.
6. Urinate in North Dakota.
7. Carry a sidearm into an antique furniture store.
8. Learn about the Bible in science class.
9. Gape at the majesty of California's giant redwoods while watching Ax Men on an iPad.
10. Go an entire week eating nothing but corn-syrup-based comestibles.
11. Stand at the northern border and pass gas into Canada.
12. Catch a largemouth bass, release it, then drive to McDonald's in a Hummer and step up to a delicious McRib.
13. After that delicious McRib, hum "I'm Lovin' It" while carrying a firearm into a Buddhist temple.
14. Become obese, then immobile, and get famous for it.
Read about some more American things you can do on the 4th of July here.